I promised her the world, but she said it wasn’t mine to give. I promised her the golden grains of sandy sunny beaches, but she preferred the comfort of a warm embrace on a living room sofa. I promised to treat her like a queen, but she said she never asked me for a kingdom. I promised her diamonds that would last forever, and she professed that only true love is eternal.
“You could promise me roses that bloom in the middle of a cold winter, and I still would not want you,” she said. “You could take me to where the earth meets the sky and the horizon glistens with its golden beauty, and I still would not need you. You could hold a million stars in the palm of your hands, and I still would not love you. But if you promised me your heart, I would cherish it and hold it close to my own until my last dying breath.” It was in that moment that I realized I was in the presence of a phenomenal woman, and instead of showing her the best of who I was, I had made the mistake of showing her who I thought she wanted me to be.
As good men, we’ve become accustomed to finishing last. 2 out of 10 times we lose the girl because we didn’t drive the nicest car or boast enough about what we have or could give. 4 of out 10 times we lose the girl because we didn’t have the right look or the right swag. 3 out of 10 times we lose the girl because they see nothing in us that goes beyond friendship. But 1 out of 10 times we lose the good, phenomenal woman because we confused her with the other 9.
We confuse her with those other women that didn’t take the time to appreciate the best of who we are and what we have to offer when it comes to love, genuine affection, and companionship. Because of this, we make the mistake of hiding our best qualities while highlighting and exaggerating the less important ones; those materialistic and superficial things that shouldn’t matter. It’s not something we do comfortably, but on a subconscious level. It’s the product of previous encounters that made us feel as though our best characteristics weren’t adequate. We spotlight those unimportant things in the hopes of reeling the girl in, and once she’s hooked, we hope we can go back to being ourselves and let the good in us shine through.
What good men don’t realize about good women is that they do indeed exist. Therefore, instead of changing who we are to appease and cater to the shallow, indecisive ones, we should just stay true to who we are regardless of the rejection we often face. One thing us good men don’t realize is that a good woman is in search for those very qualities we think are our curse. She is not easily won over by shiny rims and good looks, fancy dinners and a smooth tongue, shallow promises and whispered sweet nothings. She’s been there, done that, and learned from it. She’s a little bit wiser about her tastes, mature about her expectations, and eager to find someone she knows she won’t regret because she’s had many of those in the past. We are what every sincere, good woman is looking for. We just have to be patient enough to wait for our paths to cross.
Sincerely, Kwapi Vengesayi
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