To some people she was gullible; easily wooed and fooled by any man oozing with charm and blessed with the sweetest tongue. To others she was shallow; a woman who didn’t mind dating the douchebag as long as he was good looking, popular, or “Ballin.” To a few she was dumb; too stupid to realize and appreciate the men that were good to her, and too oblivious to cut off the ones that were not. And to many she was easy; so eager to find a man, she gave too much of herself to men that didn’t deserve it. However, to me, she was simply someone who was obsessed with the idea of being in love.
They say love is blind, but I’ve also learned that sometimes it makes us blind when we’re too eager to find it or hold on to it. It’s at that point that we stop seeing people for who they really are and start seeing them for who we want them to be. It’s at that point that we start settling for less when we deserve more. She settled for the guy that used her, and then she settled for the guy that abused her. She settled for the guy that cheated, and then she settled for the guy that would never commit to her or claim her. She settled for the insecure and jealous guy who was always controlling, and then settled for the immature guy who could never be the responsible. And although she knew she needed and deserved better, her thirst made her cling to what was worse. She compromised when she shouldn’t have. She excused the inexcusable. She stayed when she should have left. She held on when she should have let go. She loved the toads; the bad guys she thought would become something else, something better, and something that would treat her right when all they usually did was treat her wrong. In essence, she kissed every toad hoping it would turn into a prince but failed to realize that most of the time a toad is just a toad and that’s all it ever will be.
When you find yourself having a string of bad luck and bad experiences with men, then maybe you might want to re-evaluate the type of men you’re attracted to. Because sometimes it’s not men that suck, it’s your taste and choices in men that does. There are lots of good men out there, you just keep falling for the bad ones.
Sincerely, Kwapi Vengesayi