They say happy girls are the prettiest. When she smiled her beauty would often serenade my heart and seduce the mind with the subtle flicker of her eyelids. But like sunlight trying to shine through gloomy grey skies, her moments of happiness became few and far apart. These moments of happiness became so infrequent I began to call her Seldom, because she seldom smiled and when you asked her, “Are you doing okay?”, she seldom shared. But beneath the unconvincing “I’m okay”, if you listened sincerely and hard enough, you could hear her heart and self-esteem gasping for air. So one day, concerned and standing at the doorstep of her well-being, I knocked a little bit louder, I rattled the door knob of her emotions, and with slight hesitation, she finally let me in.
She said, “Every time he breaks my heart he finds a way to stitch it back together again with his beautiful lying lips. His softest whispers calm my frustrations and like a fool I fall in love all over again. I’m a sucker for charm and his lips explain away every broken promise and shady text message lighting up his phone. I’ve lowered my expectations in this relationship. I’ve sacrificed and I’ve compromised when I should not have. My heart is wounded, my pride shaken, and my mind flustered simply because I can’t find the strength to pull away. I always thought that love was unicorns and fairy tales of sleeping princesses and frogs that turn to handsome princes. But how can this be a fairy tale when he treats me like I’m beneath him and I’m overwhelmed by so much sadness”
More often than not, I find my friends in relationships and situations they are better off walking away from. Whether they’ve been cheated on, lied to, used, or abused, they stand their ground and say, “Enough is enough. I’m walking away and never turning back.” But somehow, as if brainwashed or hypnotized, and much to the dismay of friends, family, and everyone that cares, they tiptoe right back into the bad situation they had just gotten out of. As an observer or concerned individual, you sit there trying to make sense of what just happened. You think to yourself, “They were smart enough to leave but stupidly went right back when they had finally broken free. It makes no sense.” Then you soon realize that only a person blessed with a silver tongue could wiggle themselves out of that hole they had dug themselves into; only a snake charmer could tame and manipulate your friend’s scorned and broken heart. You’re saddened by the outcome, yet impressed by the manipulative skills the person your friend is dating possesses.
Against our better judgment we fall victim to people blessed with the gift of gab. The softest whispers calm our frustrations, hesitations, and like a fool, we walk right back into their arms. We lower our expectations in these types of relationships every time we walk right back when we should be walking away. We sacrifice what’s best for us as we compromise and entertain the idea of “Working it out.”
If you’re one of those people who always walks back into bad relationships, then chances are you’re in love with a Snake Charmer.
Kwapi Vengesayi is an Amazon bestselling author whose books explore captivating musings and thought-provoking conversations about love, relationships, life and our human experience. You can find his book on Amazon. You can also follow him on Twitter @kwapiv or subscribe to his blog at kwapiv.com